Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
