I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Damn victory sex feels great
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
