I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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