so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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