He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
