He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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