VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
