youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
