...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
