i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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