You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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