I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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