Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
