my vag is so smooth its legendary
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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