my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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