it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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