Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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