I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
