he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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