someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
