she was so not down for the gang bang
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Randomize
