come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
