I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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