did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize