Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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