Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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