What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
