my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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