So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
