i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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