Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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