Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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