the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
