dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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