and next time when you feel me up, do it right
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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