are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
