Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
