I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
