I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
