He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
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even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
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TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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