You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
