Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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