belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize