You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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