Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
