Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
