Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
