Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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