Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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