You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
