we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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