oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
