We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
