I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
