just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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