dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
