i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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