so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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